you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
