I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Your penis caused this!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
