And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
