Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
