guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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