I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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