You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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