conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We're not piercing ourselves today.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
