I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
