I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
