He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
