Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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