When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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