She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
