You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
