lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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