I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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