I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize