From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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