It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
