Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
