i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
