I look better un-naked...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize