Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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