Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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