That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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