So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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