last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
