Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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