i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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