just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
