OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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