I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
