This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize