k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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