Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
