He uses pillows to masturbate.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
