We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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