One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
