some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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