i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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