I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
