i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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