thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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