When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
being pregnant is like rehab
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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