so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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