I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
