Joe is yelling at the trees again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
