i permit you to call me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
