If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize