I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so let's talk penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
