YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
