We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
