at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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