who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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