2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
