I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize