do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
