i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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