paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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