Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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