Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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