i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize