I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
